I have fond memories of being a small child spending rainy days up in the loft of my house which was were we kept all our photos. I would find one of the floor boards that was safe enough to sit on and spend hours looking through albums. I was fascinated how a moment in time could be captured and last a lifetime on a piece of paper. My first camera was a blue and yellow fisher price film camera which 6 year old me would capture photos of my cats, I remember my thumb was also present in quite a few of those photos.
I was 10 years old when I become fascinated by my Pops video camera and I really enjoyed filming random stuff like interviews and house tours I loved watching them back. When I was a teenager I got a mobile that was capable of filming and I spent many hours making cringeworthy videos with my siblings and friends. At this point I hadn't owned a camera in quite a few years and would buy disposable cameras but I would only take photos of my pets, family and holidays.
Towards the end of secondary school people began bringing in their digital cameras to capture the last few weeks of school. I was like I need to get me one of those except I was teenager I had no money so I had to use my mums digital camera which was cool because that thing hardly ever got used. It was at this point that I finally felt like I had found my thing, disposable cameras and phone cameras in those days just didn't compare to point and shoot cameras.
I bought my own digital point and shoot camera which was great except I wasn't sure what I wanted to capture and in all honesty it wasn't used that much. I felt frustrated because I wanted to take cool photos but something was holding me back. So naturally I went out and bought a bridge camera a slight step up from a point and shoot and for some reason I thought this would solve my photography inspiration issue, it didn't by the way.
Its ok though cause I did something smart and signed up to a photography course. On the first day of class I felt completely intimidated everyone else had a DSLR and I felt completely out of my depth I had no idea photography could be so technical. I think I lasted about 3 lessons before I got freaked out by the mathematics of photography, me and maths are not friends.
Over the next few years I would spend the majority of my time house bound which meant I was unmotivated and uninspired to take photos. Although I did find myself with an obsession of buying cameras. I also found that I was only taking decent photos when I was on holiday or day trips which got me into a thought process that unless Im somewhere exciting I cant take good photos. These thoughts were of course totally wrong and I become aware that for a long time I was looking at things all wrong id been so focused on capturing great unique photos that I was uninspiring myself.
At the end of 2014 I took part in a photography project created by another blogger and this was the first turning point for me. For 30 days I started to think creatively and go out with my camera and take photos of things I wouldn't normally have taken photos of.
Last year I began another photography project and uploaded a photo every day of 2015 with the prompt of the day, this increased my photography creativity to whole new level. Also at the beginning of the year I bought my first DSLR a Canon 100d and signed up to another photography course with the idea that I will learn to use manual mode. To my amazement I was actually understanding what was being taught and it was sticking in my head. Over the next few months I felt inspired and really put my camera to good use. Once I finished the course though I felt lost I wasn't sure how to proceed with my learning. I knew what I really needed to do was just go out and practise practise and practise instead I went out less, less and less. The photo everyday project was keeping me busy so technically I was taking photos but mostly with my phone.
During the last few months of last year I found myself at home a lot because my health had gone down hill again and I felt frustrated that other people were able to get out and capture awesome things. I started to think back to when I was a kid and how photography interested me then and how it felt simpler back then. I spent my time really thinking about what I wanted my photography to be and what inspires me. I started to actually look at other photographers and their photos which up until this point I never really did. I mean I spent ages liking peoples photos on instagram but I never looked at the photo and analysed it why did I like it ? How did it make me feel? How did they capture that ? etc. At first I found this a bit disheartening because I felt like I could never do photography as good. But then I started to come up with ideas and feel good about the photos that I hope to take. Sure they may not be great to begin with or they might not work out but as long as I'm enjoying it then I'm happy.
I love how photography makes me really look at the world around me, I love how holding a camera in my hands makes me feel safe, I love how looking at photos makes me feel inspired.